Evening - well, first weigh in was a disappointment. Despite losing 4 inches, I only dropped 2 lbs. I did drink water on my way and I weighed in at 9:30 in the am on the first day and today at 4pm. Plus, I am on day 6 rather than 7. I will get on the scale tomorrow here, in the morning and see if there is a difference. I am trying to not feel discouraged but it's hard. Both Chris and I thought the drop would be over 5. My body fat dropped without losing any muscle so I guess that is really good. I will pick my chin up and trust the process. I have seen that it works and can feel the differences in my body - in particular, my belly, so I will use that as encouragement. Busy week - plug on.
11/2/13
Morning- so, I was pleased to get on the scale and see that I am down 5.8 lbs actually. I guess the water and the time of day really had an impact. I am pleased and relieved. Even though I was thinking that maybe I did something wrong or my metabolism wasn't going to work with this program, regardless of the loss in inches, it is better than expected. And it has been after only 6 comp,eye days. It shows how the scale is not always the best indicator and yet it is the one we put the greatest stock in... I am going to stay the course because I can. This weekend will be the first test of how I do on the road. I will be prepared! That will be the key to success.
11/4/13
Made it through my first road-trip and managed to stay on the program. I know the key was the hour or so of prep before I left. With that, it makes traveling simple. The hardest time was the hours in the car - avoiding even the thought of stopping for a quick snack. I even had tea from Starbucks for the first time and it was a good substitute. I feel good. I had a low point on Saturday where I could feel my energy level drop but it came back without too much delay. It is almost like there is a lapse between burning whatever glycogen there is and kicking into the fat. Not sure that is accurate but how it felt. Without even putting something into my body, something kicked in that revved the engine. So - I am feeling pleased but not cocky. I have still not been in a situation where I am surrounded by alcohol and people drinking it... That will be a test but I know if Chris is around, she will help me through. I will admit that I look forward and can't imagine how I will do this for 4 months or more... And then I think to myself, why? What would you do that is so drastically different from what you are doing now, except drink? And do you really miss it that much? I wake up clear and easily. My focus is good. My sleep is not great but it is less cloudy... What is bad about all this? I think there is this weird fear of how people will respond to me - they expect me to drink. Talk about self imposed peer pressure! For god's sake - gives you an understanding how adolescents are so at risk. I think I will have to be aware that people are looking at me and commit to being myself, cheerful, laughing, fun, etc... It is sooooo worth it. I feel better already. I am a bit caught up in fantasizing about what it will be like to be a normal weight again... It has been toooo long. I was thinking yesterday about needing a new wardrobe when I get there and when I do, I am going to be selective. I don not need or want so much stuff! I want to creat a wardrobe that will not require me to change out my clothes from summer to winter. I have plenty of space to do that if I am careful. I will have to remind myself of that as I get closer. A few dressy things, some middle of the road go out to dinner stuff, and then play clothes. It's all I need...
11/5/13
With profound gratitude, I live my purpose. That was today's mantra in 21 Days of Gratitude meditation series. Lots of people are putting on Facebook each day, what they are grateful for. I think I will keep mine private but consider it just the same. Today, I am grateful for my job - I am thankful that it allows me to work from home, in my own space and let's me be near Chris and the dogs most days. Even with frustrations, I know it is the best job fit I have ever had and I will keep that in my mind and heart.
Last night was the first time that I felt hungry after dinner and considered having an extra protein packet. Funny - today the video talked about when it is okay to have an extra unrestricted item... One of those situations is early on when hunger is more likely. Instead, I went to bed and was fine. I have pretty much cocooned myself away from most social situations since I started the protocol and I won't be able to do that for long. But it has been helpful in allowing me to adjust to the behavioral changes. I feel like I read somewhere that it takes about two weeks to create a habit - I hope that is true and that the new version of how I eat will be ingrained by the time we leave on vacation next week. Even though I am following the program exactly, I still feel doubtful at times and worry that it won't work for me or I won't work it... It could be but the evidence suggests otherwise. By following this meditation series, I am hoping that I can stop the doubts and maintain my focus. I understand how alcoholics and drug addicts can only stay sober by focusing just on today because when I imagine out the next 5 months, it feels overwhelming. When I just think about today, it is achievable.
11/6/13
Today's mantra was about focusing and sharing your passion. I think I need to ponder on that a bit... The mentor talked about our society equating busy with great - a busy life is a great life. He questioned that concept and I agree. When I am swamped with work, I am energized and focused but also anxious. I find that if I take the few minutes to focus through meditation, my productivity is enhanced. There is space for me to be calm.
Yesterday was a productive day and we capped it off with yoga at the mountain. It was a really focused class and perfect for me. I would not have gone on my own but Chris wanted to so I did and was grateful to have made that decision. I find myself having a bit of a low, shakiness and a strange feeling later in the afternoon. It doesn't last long and water helps but it is somewhat uncomfortable. I should ask my coach about that on Friday. I plan my snack to be around that time though it still happens. Overall, I feel good. I slept well again last night and I woke up rested - no wine is good for me physically I know. Already I can feel the difference in my body in yoga. Girth limits certain positions and even just the limited loss already helps me get into positions that I have struggled with. It makes me encouraged that my practice will improve as time goes by.
Another busy day that will take some planning - better get at it.
11/7/13
"I give thanks for and honor the miracle that is my body." Fitting mantra for today and this period in my journey. The mentor talked about pain as not being a bad thing but a message from our bodies - he didn't say it quite like that, my interpretation - but it is a sign for us to move, or to change in order to ease the pain. I think I need to listen to and respect my body - eat when hungry, avoid foods that make me feel full and lethargic, move to help my muscles avoid stiffness....
Yesterday was a long day, 4 hours in the car... I am getting tired of being in the car and when work travel is done, we will be doing the same with vacation. But, that is for fun... I did have an extra protein packet yesterday which is permitted on the program. I ate dinner on the fly, two eggs and asparagus and just did not feel fulfilled when we got back. It's fine but I don't want to get into the habit of doing that too often.
11/8/13
"I set my goals, allow the power of the living universe to take over, sit back and enjoy the ride." What a perfect lesson for me this morning. My self doubt so easily creeps in to my mind when it comes to my weight loss goals. Years of failure and frustration fuel the response, I know that, but I am powerless to combat it sometimes. In this morning's meditation, the idea of letting go of attachment was shared. I realized that I am incredibly attached to the end result if this process - achieving a goal weight for the first time in my adult life - and because it will take months, it feels like such a heavy load. But the truth is, I have set my goal and have taken on the path for this journey, now I need to let go. The process has the potential to be a great teacher for me, about humility, sobriety, consciousness. If I just look to end, I will miss the view along the way. Today I will focus in the here and now. I got on the scale this morning and I am 9 lbs down in less than 2 weeks. I am pleased.
